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浅析托福独立写作中的“朋友”题

发布时间:2017/8/23来源:教育热点网对此文章感兴趣的有:
朋友不仅是每个人生活中不可缺少的一份子,也是托福独立写作中的一个重要角色。考生们每每看到朋友相关的题目都会暗自窃喜,因为很熟悉这样一个话题,毕竟可能从上幼儿园之前就有了第一个小伙伴。所以对于话题本身的熟悉感会给考生们一个“此题不难”的感觉。
然而在实际的考试中,很多考生都会发现,想观点看似不难,但后续的展开好像并非易事,有的题目甚至在半小时内凑够字数都有些举步维艰,17年4月的头两场考试就把很多考生考倒在了考场之上。那么独立写作中的“朋友”题有怎样的考法,又是怎样的难法呢?笔者将从以下几个角度为读者们进行总结。
一、交友类型
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. (121212)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is better for people to have friends who are intelligent than to have friends who have a good sense of humor. (131102, 150627, 170415)
读完这两道题你一定会发现,这两道题的考点非常相似,都是问选朋友应该选什么类型,题干中涉及到三类朋友:幽默型,智慧型,无私型。再看一下每道题后的考试日期,读者们应该不难感受到这两道题的重要性。其实这两道题来源于一道很老的考题,即官方发布的托福独立写作185题中的第62题:
What do you want most in a friend-someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you?
在回答这样一类选朋友的问题时,考生们往往会在读完题目后立马给出答案,无论选择哪个角度,考生们也往往会立马有些想法。比如选择幽默型的考生会说,幽默的朋友可以给我们的生活带来乐趣;选择智慧型的考生会说,聪明的朋友能在我们有困难的时候想到我们想不到的解决方案;选择无私型的考生会说,有求必应的朋友肯定能救我于水火之中。可是根据笔者授课的经验来看,往往这时候再继续问考生该如何将你的观点拓展成一个一百多字的小段落,然后再想几个观点来完成整篇文章的写作时,学生往往就止步不前了,一方面很难找到其他观点,另一方面即使是现在已有的观点也很难拓展。拿“幽默型的朋友”来说,考生在想到了幽默的朋友能给生活增加乐趣之后,在拓展如何增加乐趣时似乎只能举个人经历,诸如我有一个朋友之类的,并且很难描述所谓的乐趣,更有甚者连个人经历也写不出来只能挤牙膏似的慢慢码字,讲些空泛的道理,比如下文这个段落(摘自某考生课堂作业,该考生选择幽默型朋友):
(1) First,a friend with whom you can have fun can make your daily life more interesting and colorful. (2) Life is too long, so it is difficult to bear the boring time when you have nothing to do. (3) A friend with humorous(考生语法错误,应为a sense of humor) won't make you feel embarrassed while an accidentally quiet(考生语法错误,应为silence) and it's also no need for you to search the afternoon tea's topic(考生表达有误,应为find something to talk while taking afternoon tea). (4) What's more, those friends are always easy-going, which means it's not hard to keep friendship with each other.
上文段落一共81字,抛开语法错误不谈,我们来分析下该考生在写作时的思路:
(1)首先提出观点:有趣的朋友让生活多姿多彩。
(2)接下来第二句说生命如此漫长,所以如果无事可做将会无法忍受无聊的时光。通过此句可以看出该考生其实已经无话可讲了,所以开始铺垫讲道理。其实这句跟本文所讨论的问题完全无关,完全可以直接删掉。
(3)第三句考生点题说一个幽默的朋友不会让你感受到那种令人尴尬的沉默,所以不会让我们在下午茶的时候搜肠刮肚找话题聊。细想一下,幽默跟有话可聊有关系吗?其实完全没有,一个很幽默的人也很有可能因为没什么可说的而保持沉默不是吗?所以本句虽然考生有点题,但逻辑很有问题,并且完全没有后续的解释和展开,导致论述空洞。
(4)最后一句强加一个分论点说,这样的朋友往往比较好相处,所以维系友谊将不是什么难事。为什么幽默的朋友一定会很好相处,好相处为什么就一定会容易维系友谊?如果你跟你幽默的朋友发生了原则上的分歧,比如你幽默的朋友给你带了绿帽子,你们会不会一拍两散?其实托福作文不需要考生将逻辑勾稽得多么完整多么严谨,但是像上文中的考生这样不加解释是绝对不行的。
回到“幽默的朋友可以让我们的生活更加有趣”这个观点上来。这个非常容易想到的观点究竟该如何展开呢?回想一下你所学过的论证方法,为了论证清楚这个观点,我们可以选择什么样的论证方法呢?无疑举例是最好想的方法。因为众所周知幽默就代表着有趣,无需说理,所以因果论证并不好进行。当然也可以用对比来进行,尤其是这几道题中都涉及对比。笔者接下来重点讲述一下举例的方法。
首先我们要确定的一点是,最好不要用一个独立的例子来论证整个观点,尤其是你自己的个人亲身经历。很明显一个个例来论证整个观点会显得太个别了。换言之就是,中心句提出之后不可以用一个For example开头开始洋洋洒洒说我有一个朋友,我的朋友如何幽默。那么我们该怎么办呢?两个方法:一是多个角度丰富例子;二是寻找类比借力打力。
所谓多个角度来丰富例子尤其适用于写作困难户同学,如果你只能想到自己的例子,那么不妨把自己的例子多拆几个侧面,多写几件事,而不要只写一件事。比如如果想说我一个幽默的朋友,可以说我们相识时是如何因为他的幽默而让我们成为了好朋友,接下来我们在学校里,他做了怎样有趣的事,还可以写到他的社交账号,里面有怎样的信息,甚至是他的自拍、他拍的小视频,要从多个角度丰富这个有趣的朋友,丰富这个有趣的朋友做的事。
寻找类比借力打力则是一种更加考验考生的举例方式,当然写好的情况下效果也会更好。在举例时除了用自己的亲身经历还能用什么呢?很多考生会想到名人,但再仔细一想,发现名人的适用范围其实很狭隘,很多题都不一定能想到名人的例子。但是当我们把名人的概念进行泛化,比如这道题,在说朋友,还是幽默的朋友,你能想到谁呢?常看美剧的考生应该会立马想到两个非常有名的跟“幽默的朋友”相关的剧吧:Friends和The Big Bang Theory。其中你耳熟能详的人物完全可以拿来借用为自己的朋友,当然最后要回到我们自己的生活上。笔者从这个角度给考生们一些参考:
First off, they could add much spice to our daily life. I’ve always been dreaming about having several friends like those in the romcom Friends or The Big Bang Theory. A friend like Rachel may tell me that I look like I slept with a hanger in my mouth, when I tell her I have a crush on a boy and can’t help laughing every time I think of him; a quick-witted friend like Phoebe may incidentally write our life stories into her funny but unforgettable song “Smelly Cat”. Besides, the reason why Sheldon and Penny leaves audiences a deep impression is their sense of humor showcased when exploring the unknown things. With friends like them, our lives may abound with laughter as if we are the heroes of the comedy.
上一段只说了幽默的朋友能给我们的生活带来的乐趣。但是回到我们最早的题目中,题干让我们进行选择,既然是选择就需要在文中体现出比较。我们可以在上面的段落之后加一个对比,笔者就17年4月15日独立写作题目(选朋友选幽默型还是智慧型)给出一个参考的对比方案,跟上一段结合在一起即成为一个完整的主体段落:
Sure, some may insist that compared to the intellectual support a wise friend offers to us, the delightful moments mentioned above may be insignificant or even vanish. After all, an intelligent friend could help inspire more creative ideas, which is important to working out more complex problems, and making further progress no matter for a student or an employee. But the thing is better alternatives can be easily found to replace a wise friend: teachers, books, professionals and so forth.
除了给生活增加乐趣,“选择幽默型的朋友”还有什么可支持的观点呢?我们都知道幽默跟无厘头的搞笑其实不完全是同一件事,真正的幽默感其实也是智慧的一种体现,因为真正的幽默需要在合适的场合、合适的时间、对合适的人才能称之为幽默,否则可能会适得其反。所以交一个幽默的朋友相当于也拥有了一个聪慧的朋友。这样的一个观点无论是用在以上哪一道题都可以作为一个独立的观点。以下是笔者对此给出的一个Sample Paragraph:
In addition to this, the sense of humor is actually another manifestation of being intelligent. To tell a joke may not be a difficult task; but it is by no means effortless to tell an appropriate joke at the suitable time, in a proper occasion, or to the right person.If you make fun of a disabled person by imitating his gestures and poses, or mock at a girl who has just failed a job interview by saying jokingly that girls should pay more time on makeup rather than career, you had better not expect to be considered as hilarious. On the contrary, people with real sense of humor would have the ability to know when and how to tell a joke. This has been proved a performance of high emotional intelligence (EQ) by a host of studies. If you look closely into every joke Ellen DeGeneres tells in her show, you may be amazed at how intelligent she is to control the whole situation: making the audience laugh out loud within a territory where the guest celebrity would not feel being offended. Therefore, making a funny friend, to some extent, also means making a brainy friend. Kill two birds with one stone, doesn’t it?
细心的读者应该注意到,这段中也用到了名人,美国著名脱口秀主持人Ellen, 但是所讲的并不是她的经历,而是把她作为一个证明幽默的人有智慧的范例,最后一个收尾,回归到了交朋友上从而扣上题目。
另外还有一道题目也跟交友类型有关:广交新朋友还是维系老朋友?
The ability to maintain friendship with a small number of people for a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily.(140803)
这道题目看似考得还是朋友圈子的类型,我们不妨把它和另一个题目联系在一起,即接下来要讲的“对待友谊的态度”。
二、对待友谊的态度
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
When you have been friends with someone for a long time, it is important to continue your friendship with that person even if she or he does something you do not like. (170401, 150530)
当这两道题交集在一起时,我们可以将立场设定在“维系老朋友”上,因为这样我们又可以一石二鸟了。但是这道题同样也是一道让很多考生头疼的披着“简单”外衣的难题。很多考生在确定“维系老朋友”这个立场之后,再继续来想观点以及思考观点的拓展时,就又张口结舌、支支吾吾说不出一二了。笔者在这就17年4月1日的题目给出几个参考思路,14年8月3日的题目只需将思路稍加更改,将结交新朋友融入对比即可,在此不做细致展开了。
首先,长久的友谊其实已经意味着对彼此缺点的包容。不难想到,即使是最亲密的朋友也会有矛盾有冲突。所以即使是朋友做了什么你不喜欢的事,也不应该撼动你们友谊的基础。为了印证这个观点,紧接着可以举一个自己的例子,最终证明长久的友谊是会包容这些问题的。以下是笔者给出的一个Sample Paragraph:
First off, long-term friendship means the tolerance for drawbacks. Obviously,the reason why two different people become friends lies in their same interest, personality, attitudes, value and outlook towards the life and the world. But this does not mean that no conflicts happen. Even the closest friends will get pissed off when meeting disagreements; let’s say, one likes conservative clothing, but the other likes mini-skirt. So even if your friend does something you dislike, that shouldn't shake the foundation of your friendship. I have a friend whose room always looks like a pigsty, and every time I step into his room, hardly can I bear the smell from his soiled clothes piled up in his sofa. But this won’t be a barrier in our friendship, for what I get from him is inspirations in academy and positive attitude when bumping into setbacks. Besides, without such tolerance, it may be very difficult to build real friendship from the very start, not to mention a lasting one.
在上文的例子中,笔者用了一个比较日常的例子,用一个生活习惯你不赞同的朋友来证明长久的友谊的包容力,但是紧接着我们就可以说点更严重的“你不喜欢的事”。这样其实也就把题干中“something you do not like”进行了拆分。当然我们的目标是证明“维护这段友谊”,所以在写这个比较严重的事情的时候也要给自己留好余地。下文是笔者给出的一个Sample Paragraph:
Of course, some may raise a question immediately: trivial things, like different life styles, may not that matter; after all, seldom do friends live together all day long. But when it comes to important diversions, especially those reaching one’s bottom line, is it worth continuing the friendship? The answer is surely yes. For example, your best friend cheated his business client by forging the boss’s signature, would you break up with him, and blacklist his contact? Probably not. After thinking twice, as a true friend, you would tell him your authentic opinion and persuade him to do the right thing. Even if he closed his ears, wouldn’t you analyze the adverse consequences again and again, and wait him to make a change? Perhaps, that’s what real friends should be.
(对于14年8月3日的题目,这个观点可以改成老朋友更愿意在你遇到大问题的时候深出援助之手,劝你回头,但是新朋友就不一定可靠了,可能交了很多新朋友,一有问题就都树倒猢狲散了。)
接下来我们可以换一个角度,从我们自身的角度来解释下维系这段友谊的好处,毕竟一个老朋友更愿意在我们遇到困难的时候给我们帮忙。往往遇到大困难的时候老朋友才更愿意给我们一臂之力,所以维系着这样一段友情自然对我们也有好处。当然这个段落也可以从反面切入,说确实老朋友也有可能做出一些让我们无法原谅的事情,违背自己的底线,但是毕竟这样的情况非常少见,所以一般情况下也不会因为老朋友做了什么不好的事就彻底绝交。以下是笔者站在支持方给出的一个Sample Paragraph:
In addition to all of this, you will also be the beneficiary if maintaining an abiding friendship. No matter what your friend does, s/he may always be the one who understands you the most, and supports you the most. The longer your friendship lasts, the more it appears that s/he is the first one who is willing to help you out when you hit a roadblock, or to unreservedly share his/her opinion when you are stuck in a dilemma. It is often reported that to a man encountering financial difficulties in running his business, or a girl feeling confused about her future, friends are actually the right person to offer help. So friends are the fortune in our lives; though they may do things we don’t like, resorting to communication is a far better way than saying farewell to this friendship. In fact, this is also the thing we expect when we do something our friends don’t like, isn’t it?
(对于14年8月3日的题目,可以从新朋友方入手做一个让步段,新朋友给我们带来新鲜感或新的体验,接下来用上述观点作让步收回到老朋友上。)
三、交友方式
Which do you think is the best way for a student to make new friends:
a). joining a sports team; b). volunteering for a community activity; c). traveling? (140315)
说到交友方式,大部分考生就没有那么陌生了,尤其是这道三选一的题目。在答题时从三个观点分别进行讨论,寻找三个观点在交友上不同的地方进行比较。比如选择traveling, 因为travel的过程中会朝夕相处,更能了解他人无论是性格上的还是生活习惯上的优缺点,以及这个人的金钱观,遇到困难时的态度等等;体育活动往往交流不一定多,大家更多的时间都在锻炼,即使沟通更多的也只是活动上的沟通,比如篮球队的队员讨论的往往都是战术战略,所以没有travel好;社区服务一定程度上跟travel一样能给学生们提供更多交流的机会,然而你看不到他生活中的样子,也许他很邋遢很懒,甚至还撒谎说他生活中很爱干净,所以还是不如去旅旅游好。
四、寻求朋友的建议
Agree or disagree? Getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends of your own age. (141108, 160409)
本题看似是在讲朋友,但其实比较的是同龄人和学长学姐,从学长学姐的角度比较好说。一来他们经验比较丰富,能将自己的经验教训传授给我们让我们少走弯路;二来他们年纪比较大思维能力更强,考虑问题往往更全面更冷静;第三同龄人看起来比较了解彼此的心理状态,但是学长学姐们也同样经历过我们这个年纪,所以他们的建议就显得更客观了。
Agree or disagree? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination. (120804)
本题很类似上面提到的寻求建议的那道题目,只是题干所描述的场景更具体,这样具体的设定反而会比较好写。比如选择找tutor, 一来他有自己做学生的经验,二来他有做老师的方法,三来他还可以帮助求助学生寻找一帮一的对象,本题非常好想,请考生自己展开。
五、其他
Agree or disagree? Competition between friends usually negatively impacts friendships. (120902, 160702)(抽象)
本题不走寻常路地考察了朋友之间的竞争对友谊的影响。乍一看比较难拓展,但如果我们先想想朋友间会有怎样的竞争,有哪些竞争的例子,这道题目也就不那么难解了。比如想到羽坛名将林丹和李宗伟,他们的竞争非但没有阻碍二人的友谊,反而让他们彼此更加惺惺相惜,乔布斯和比尔盖茨也竞争了一辈子,但他们化竞争为彼此前进的动力,在各自的领域取得更大的成功。这样反驳方两个观点和例子就完成了。
Agree or disagree? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends. (130721)(交友品质)
本题除了朋友这个话题之外,考生们还应注意到题目中存在的绝对词“impossible”, “completely”。一般情况下我们看到绝对词都会去否定绝对词的绝对性,但是本题中“完全诚实”似乎是任何一个人都做不到的,因此不妨站在同意的角度来证明。一方面自己要保有自己的隐私空间,比如生理上的缺陷、家庭的不幸,这种不会影响到友谊发展的事情自己是有权利隐瞒甚至欺骗朋友的。另一方面站在朋友的角度,为了不伤害他所以编造一些谎言,比如他的亲人病得很重,比如他新买的衣服其实非常难看。最后写一个让步段尽管善意的谎言是有一定道理的,但是也承认诚实是维系友谊的一个非常重要的基石,在绝大多数情况下,对待自己的朋友都会诚实,如果没有这最起码的诚实,可能友谊也不会维系下去。
Agree or disagree? Two people can become good friends even if one of them has more money than the other. (120225)
本题考查了友谊的建立条件,甚至还用金钱做了个标杆。小时候每个人都学过马克思、恩格斯伟大的友谊,从小家长老师应该也是教育我们不要用钱来衡量感情,所以这个比较世俗的问题确实很可以写同意方。当然也可以不同意或做一个小让步,毕竟两个人收入水平、家庭条件差太多的话会导致消费观念不同,继而造成分歧,也会导致相对贫穷的一方产生自卑心理,不利于友情的维系。
通过以上内容,笔者带读者们分析了从12年到17年,跟“朋友/交友”相关的所有题目,从上述题目中读者们可以看出,这一类话题每年的考题数量大概在两道以上,相比于教育类或工作类的话题自然不算重要,但是也决不能完全不练。因为这一类话题很有可能成为你考场上的一把软刀子,很有可能大难若易。希望读者们在读完本文之后对此类话题有了更清晰的解题思路,如果考场相逢,也可杀敌制胜。

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